It Was the Best of Times…

And today? It was the worst of times.

My husband and I have been talking about when my last day would be for quite some time. He has finished school( WTG, Bebe!!) and all he has to do is take National Registry. Well, and pass it, but I’m not worried about that part. He’s got this. In the mean time he has been working in the kitchen of a sorta local pub. They have been incredibly supportive of school and his schedule. Now that he has finished they mentioned they would like him to work Sundays as well. So I gave my notice last week. It wasn’t an easy decision, and it was. If that makes any kind of sense. I’ve enjoyed working there over the past(almost) two years. I’ve had great bosses and pretty excellent co-workers. With the exception of a few Jackwagons. But that is to be expected. There’s always gonna be somebody screwing things up for the rest of us. You deal with it and move on. So I was really looking forward to today. The sun was shining and it was turning out to be a beautiful day. And then I got to work. The dining room looked like absolute hell. Condiments were empty, the tablecloths were all wonky, silverware was strewn about the tables. I don’t get that. But that’s a whole ‘nother story…So let’s move on to my firstest table ‘o’ the day, shall we?

My first table consisted of two women, the words charm free come to mind, but whatevs. I took their drink order diet coke and half and half tea. Which the lady smarmily explained to me was half sweet tea and half unsweet tea. Wow. Really? And to think I’ve been getting that wrong for OVER. TWENTY. YEARS. Idiots. I took their lunch order, salads(SHOCKER!) and noted their special requests(AGAIN, SHOCKER!). When I went to bring out their food I didn’t notice that another server accidentally took my salad instead of hers. So naturally she took great delight in pointing out that I had got her order wrong. Um, no. I didn’t. I brought her out a new salad and all was right in their tiny little world. I dropped off the checks and waited for them to pay. And waited. And waited. And waited some more. Finally I saw them reach for their wallets. VICTORY! Except no, not so much. They proceeded to sit there for another 45 excruciating minutes. In spite of my obvious attempts to get them to get up and go. By the way? If your server comes over and asks you if you need anything else, or if you are still doing okay AFTER you have paid the bill…it’s our polite way of saying GO HOME, or GO SOME PLACE THAT ISN’T HERE.

In the meantimes, I finally get sat my second table of the day. And definitely my super fave table, maybe ever. Are you sensing the sarcasm? I don’t even get hello out of my mouth before Jackass(you may think this is harsh, just wait…) whips out a special prize he won in a Golf Tournament yesterday that allows him to get dinner for two, up to $30. I tell him no problem and ask what I can bring them to drink. Naturally, he wants a beer. Which we aren’t allowed to serve yet because of our Liquor Law. Needless to say, this does not go over well. One word, pal. VOTE. I finally get the order, which was no small feat in itself. I’m refilling drinks, bringing out extra napkins, etc. The wife can barely be bothered to speak to me beyond, “yeah”. Her response to every question. Not yes, or no. No please and thank you. I don’t care how old I am, if I EVER behaved liked that to another person my mama would smack me. I bring out a to-go box and the bill and tell them I will be right back. I finish whatever it was I was doing and walk back to the table to see if they are ready. Jackass is miffed because he never gor his side of fries. I apologize and ask him if he would like them to-go. He says no. He wants them taken off the bill. I pick the bill up and take it to our GM. He explains it IS off the bill because of his special prize. I go back to the table and show him the bill and explain that it is essentially taken off the bill. He seems fine and I walk off. I come back and it’s still sitting there and he is bitching to his wife. I ask if there is a problem and he says yes, he wants it taken off the bill. I calmly explain(AGAIN) that it IS off. I show him where the money has been taken off and what his remaining bill is. As I walk off I hear him say something, but I can’t quite catch what it is. So I turn back around and ask if there is a problem. He proceeds to rip into me and tell me that I am “ignorant” and obviously don’t know my job, or the menu. I ask him how I am the one who is ignorant in this situation. He tells me that nothing was taken off the bill and to show him where. At this point I am freaking LIVID. I show him and explain it yet again. He calls me ignorant for a second time. At that point I tell him I will be happy to send the GM out to speak with him. And I storm into the kitchen. Long story short? The GM took another $6 off his bill bringing it down to $5 and some change. Wanna guess what he left me? Besides his to-go box which I promptly threw in the trash? NOTHING. Except for a good ol’ case of MAD.

The whole freakin’ day was like that. People were pissed about charges on the menu. Substitutions I couldn’t make. The fact that APPETIZERS were not dinners, complete with two sides. I spent the whole day running around like a chicken with my head cut off. With a three table section, y’all. Really? Tips sucked major donkeys and my tables were just awful. All in all, not quite the day I envisioned my last day to be.

To be fair, I did have three very sweet tables. Easygoing, polite(I KNOW, RIGHT!) and one of them was a boy I went to school with and haven’t seen in years. His family was charming. I didn’t really get the chance to tell him so with all the DRAMA in my station. Sheesh. Save that for your own life people! I’m slap full up here…

So I guess that’s it. The end of my reign, as it were. Just a couple more things and then I am officially all official like done with waiting tables. I’m grateful to been given this job at a time I needed it so very desperately. I’m grateful for the friends I made whilst working there. I think that I am most especially grateful for the man who hired me, and he knows who he is. It was a pleasure to work for you, sir. And so damn much fun. My bosses were fabulous and I adored them. Yes, ALL of them. Those of you who read this know the one I am referring to! And finally, my sorta new GM. I have enjoyed working for you, and I appreciate the kind words today. I know you meant them, and that meant a lot too. I’ve enjoyed your youth and energy. I think you are just what that place needed. I wish you all the success in the world. I love you guys. Thanks for making my life better. And for all your love and support these last few years.

I’m gonna miss you most of all…